She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
