Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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