I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
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