you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
