we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
