he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
They have beer where we have blood.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
