i permit you to call me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
