franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
