I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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