i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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