I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
