I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
