so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
