2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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