dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
