PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
