I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
