i think i have two assholes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
