She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
