So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
