You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
