Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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