you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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