Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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