Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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