u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
