I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
