well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
