what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I feel great
I just peed on a car
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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