I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
