i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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