I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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