Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
