I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
