so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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