last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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