so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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