she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'd cum for enchiladas.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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