I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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