cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
