I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
