It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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