YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
