So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
