I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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