I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
