I heard we made out
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
