you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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