Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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