The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
someone owes me an orgasm
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
